Quiet Solipsism & A Case of Confusion

I thought we used to be

pretty good

friends,

friends with a mission,

real friends -

but

no more.

I am invisible to you now,

unless you are forced

 to be in my company.

I am someone

 you tolerate

as you hide behind a drink

or your

 good deeds at church.

But good deeds

 won’t get you

 into heaven.

Am I so vile

because

I have grown old,

or because

I am not so pretty?

Or Is it because

you now have lots of money

and a big house,

and I don’t,

and you are ashamed for me,

pity me,

think me crazy,

to ease you mind

and your guilt?

Is it because I have no children

and we now share different

life experiences?

You work to be seen

at every social event,

even though I know

 how you despise those crowds

and their dusty lives.

Have we grown to be so different

than the realities we once knew?

Is it because I have suffered much

and you have not?

Life has the appearance

of perfect bliss for you.

But somehow I doubt that it

 is all that it appears to be.

Are you afraid my pain

or my poverty will

some how

rub off on you?

Or is it because

I know all those quiet secrets,

the ones you cannot afford

for the world

or your now rich neighbors to know?

I am the same one

you have always known.

I know your true heart

and your soul.

It does not belong here

among a myriad of

things

and polished silver.

Why are you here in this barren land?

 I will move on now.

I will keep your secrets.

And I will try

not to think of you

again,

for where you have gone now

breaks my heart.

But I have no right to judge,

though  I will pray for your salvation.

For I am,

and always will be,

your friend.

                                                                                        Joyce Burns

© Joyce (Tidwell) Burns, ChynaMoon Creations 1997-2011